Use GUILT this Valentine’s Day
A lot of men think Valentine’s Day is about adventurous sex, while women tend to see it as a chance to get pregnant or receive gifts and attention. Truth is, it can be about both, if you follow these words. As a modern man, you can definitely use a woman’s need for attention to your advantage. And Valentine’s Day is all about attention. Any night when hormones are in the air is the perfect time to ‘go for the throat,’ romantically speaking. Use Farley’s simple GUILT method to guide you through your Valentine’s date.
- Give her attention – Don’t break eye contact for the whole day.
- Understanding – Men, let’s face it: women can be very boring and catty. Faking understanding is better than nothing!
- Interest – Sometimes just nodding your head while your texting is enough to make her melt.
- Listen – Women tell their family and friends things they don’t want you to hear. Keep your ears open! Phone calls and girl talk are a treasure mine of info!
- Talk more about yourself. Women spend all day with themselves. When they unwind, they want to hear about you!!
May you have the most romantic Valentine’s Day ever. Don’t forget HammerInTheNews when she’s melting in your arms.
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This week has been exhausting. I’ve been up around the clock covering the HSR’s biggest blunder: weight-based fares and a 1990s online presence. And the temptation to go to the Mayor’s kissing booth today was too much. A late nude skate always tires out me and the staff. Also – commenters on our website helpfully pointed out racism towards heavy people, and more civic problems in the ‘province’ of Hamilton.
My favourite comments:
- I respect the HSR for admitting their mistake
- This little chesnut from Peter Mercanti about the anti-casino crowd: “Who are these people? What is their background? What have they done? They get almost all the same weight as the people who really count. It shocks me.”
- And who can forget the negative reaction from followers of HTN when they heard about weight-based bus fares?
- Hammergovermentfailsusagain Feb 4, 3:23 pm
I do not ride the HSR as I drive myself…Hamilton is already a poor/hurting Provence but on top of all that lets make the disabled/weak/poor/over weight people pay for it… BOO shame on HAMILTON is this just a money grabbing scam to make up for the money lost to the BS web site they lost money on?
- Nicole margerison Feb 4, 1:40 pm
This is ridiculous and unethical I have been an hsr rider for years and the second I step on a bus and it
shows my weight n tells me what I owe to ride is the day I sue the asses outta them assh***s that is completely wrong and discriminatory I am extremely offended by this
This is like putting black people on the back of the bus, just being racist to heavy people
- samantha Feb 5, 8:23 am
This is disgusting…this is discrimination? Wtf are you thinking. I am a single mother who take her 2mon old on the bus almost everyday…are you going to make me pay for my strollera weight too? If so thats bs! Not all people are obese by choice…this is why people will and have left hamilton…because the council are a bunch of a-holes. Your drivers weigh maybe 250+ and sit on their asses and dont do nothing but we have to pay? No way. If their on the bus they should have to pay a fee. This is bullshit.
- Tony King
@Aboriginal_Guy @HammerInTheNews *Red Alert!* Don’t french kiss the mayor after he smoked one of his stogies.
FROM THE BLOG:
IS A STAGE SHOW OF ‘ALIVE’ IN POOR TASTE?
Twenty years ago, the biographical survival drama – Alive – shocked crowds with its portrayals of cannibalism. The scene of survivors eating the buttocks’ of their dead companions is forever embedded in minds of that generation.
The crew at Hammer Entertainment have kept their plans to host a 20th anniversary, full musical stage production of ‘Alive,’ a secret until today.
“Affordable rehearsal space is always an issue in Hamilton,” said artistic director, Jason Dick, “and we wanted to rehearse with the full airplane. I’ve even had our team sit in on a first-year medical student cadaver lab. You know, to get in character. Of course, it would’ve been disrespectful to taste one of them, so we didn’t ask.”
Critics say a preview of the stage show left a bad taste in their mouth. “It’s not the right platform for this kind of play. Winterfest is about snowmen, sledding, and tame theatre – not an Ozzy Osborne show,” says Larry Finch of the Bay Observer.
Cast members in the group are baffled by the lack of community support for the play. “I don’t know what people are complaining about. Honestly. It’s set in Alaska, where winter reigns supreme 11 out of 12 months. And Cannibalism on stage is easy. We saw a production of Dracula last year where they ate a baby on stage. Now that was sick. Plus, it’s kind of a good luck show – the cast of Alive did a hell of a lot more than break a leg.”
The play runs from February 6 – February 12
- ARTSPRAWL: ANCASTER’S DRIVE-THRU ARTCRAWL
- ARTCRAWL DRESSCODE SHOCKS DOWNTOWN, MADDENS THE SCHLUBBS
- GAMBLING ACTIVISTS: “DOWNTOWN IS OVERRUN BY HIPSTERS AND ARTISTS
Mike Parcy, January 29th, 2013.
One word is on the tongue of every resident in Ancaster and, for once, it isn’t ‘inheritance’. Folks here are genuinely excited
about their very own Artsprawl, and the merging of Supercrawl with the Festival of Friends at Ancaster Fairgrounds. I took a trip out to the Meadowlands to get a read on it.
“I think it’s fantastic!” Says Michelle Sommers, a 34-year-old yoga instructor. “Martha Stewart’s crafts were going downhill since she went to jail. Now, our whole family gets involved. Even our pedigree Bichon Frise is wearing a multi-coloured walking sweater, though her canine psychologist said colours aren’t good for her well being.”
My next stop was Michael’s, Ancaster’s largest craft store, where I discovered the competitive drive behind crafts. Employee, Bonnie, tells me “People are buying the pre-made crafts like they are going out of style. When one person buys something, another person looks at it and buys the same thing, only bigger. We now stock balls of yarn 8 ft in diameter.”
My last stop was at Second Cup, where we spoke with John Unsworth, a 37-year-old retired Investment Consultant who reluctantly became a fan and participant. “I’m not really an artsy person, but how can you not get caught up in all of this? Luckily, my personal life coach, a retired art teacher, showed me how to make origami out of my old, low performing investment portfolios.”
From street to street, Ancaster is abuzz with excitement. Residents here are happy to share a little bit of their culture with the outside. Hopefully Ancaster’s Artsprawl will be a draw for years to come.
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Farley Hammerton. January 23, 2013.
CODE GREY: SUBURBAN RENEWAL – PART I
Alfred E. Neuman once said, “The suburbs are where they cut down all the trees and then name streets after them.” Ancaster’s current art renaissance is no joke, however. Artsprawl, held every third Friday of the month, features drive-thru art hosted outside people’s homes, perfect for the car-centric city.
“The idea is that you never leave the car,” says organizer Soren Fieberman. “The artcrawl on James Street is not really appealing to the average person from Ancaster. Bumping into strangers, eating grilled cheese, human interaction – if they wanted that, they’d move into an apartment on Bay Street. At Artsprawl, you simply drive by the art, take a quick look, and your home for dinner.”
The movement started with the so-called “Soccer Mom” demographic. “We were bored. We’re all highly educated at the best schools, and there’s only so much help the nanny needs with the kids. We’re all in art classes, so it’s time to show our chops,” says proud mother of one, Sharon Winchester.
You won’t find the risky art that characterizes the artcrawl, but you will find plenty of practical folk art. Among the top-sellers are wall hangings with “Bless this Mess” on them, or “Don’t Pee in Our Gigantic Pool, We Don’t Swim in Your Bidet.” Lawn silhouettes, paintings of unicorns, and macrame owls fly off the lawns of the artists.
This just may be Ancaster’s chance to show Hamilton that they indeed have a soul.
See Part II of the Series – Suburbanicity: Ancaster’s Newest Paper
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State of the Hammer
It’s been a busy week for Hamilton and HammerInTheNews. We’ve had coverage by The Spec, and nod from This is That, a new reporter, over 10,000 hits on the website, and plenty of productive twitter sessions with you, Hamilton. Here’s the week in review.
Farley’s Favourite Comments:
Julianne (concerning Rob Ford): “Maybe this is what Hamilton needs? Quick decisions, controversy, more football, and less heritage? That Bratina is kind of boring…..”
Councillor Jason Farr said, “I’m not the guy you want to be asking about fashion. As long as folks are clothed.”
Wordplay of the week: In response to “Toodle doo” – stationary store said: ”
@mixedmedia154 or as we say “doodle-too”!
@HammerInTheNews is quite a little imp! Mark at DD’
This Week’s Posts:
COUNCILLOR FEARS TECHNOLOGY: “How do I know someone calling themselves
@inthehoodhamont or @HiddenPonyMusic is really a taxpayer.”