In a move the opposition describes as ‘cynical’, Stephan Harper is renaming the politically charged Trans-Canadian Oil Pipeline to the “Stompin’ Tom Overland Memorial Pipeline” (S.T.O.M.P). Venezuela’s recent loss of their populist leader, Hugo Chavez, has the potential to throw the oil sector into turmoil, and it’s suggested Harper is attempting to mitigate the effects by any means necessary.
At a press conference earlier this morning, Harper, in an unusually candid move, donned a black cowboy hat, and served the press breakfast. “This is about memorializing a Canadian Hero,” Harper said. “Stompin’ Tom travelled this great land probably more than any other Canadian. It’s a fitting tribute that a pipeline that spans the country bears his name. Don’t forget, Bud the Spud wasn’t an electric hybrid.”
The official opposition suggests this move is taking advantage of Conners’ legacy. “It’s a shameful, shameful action,” says Thomas Mulcair. “Memorial? My mind still aches when I hear that word. It’s using an unfortunate situation for political advantage, something we’ve never seen in Harper’s government.”
Whether or not Harper follows through with this proposal, the best man in Ottawa my still be Mufferaw Joe.