Half-Baked Racism Draws Media Attention to Seniors’ Home

unicorn_cupcake

“Innocents Hamilton” protest the “hatecakes.”  ‘We make our cupcakes with sugar, eggs and flour, not hate.’ (photo credit: brink animation)

“It was all tongue-in-cheek”

Oldin Indeway Manor, an assisted living community home in Ward 16, is known around Hamilton for its sterling reputation as a haven for our city’s aged citizens.   Yesterday, they shocked the public by unveiling an aggressive marketing campaign involving a symbol that characterized racism in their generation: the swastika.

“Why can’t old people do irony?”

“We never meant to be offensive,” said Alfred Peaknuckle, an eighty-five year-old war veteran.  “I fought the Nazis, for crying out loud.  It was all tongue-in-cheek.  We did it to draw a crowd.  We heard on the news that restaurants are doing it, so why not us? We need the funds from the bake sale for new curtains, cutlery, and an antenna for the goddamn T.V.”

“Innocents Hamilton” Won’t Sugarcoat This

Not everyone sees it that way.  A coalition of local dissidents called “Innocents Hamilton”, have made several posters in reaction to the controversy.   The posters (example above) show baked goods with messages including, “My cupcakes spread tooth decay, not hate,” and “Make peace-cakes, not hate-cakes.”

The bake sale coordinators said, “It’s not illegal, so we’re not taking it down.  In fact, our goods are selling like hate-cakes.  Why do young punks get to use irony?”  The management team have offered their sincere apologies, and hope this never happens again.

I think every Hamiltonian would like to forget this week’s controversial events.

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10 thoughts on “Half-Baked Racism Draws Media Attention to Seniors’ Home

  1. You know this sort of reverse discrimination against true-blue Canadians really gets up my nose. I say, if it’s not illegal, then you should just do what you want and if them’s thats always whining to the Human Rights want to complain well then they can just buy somewhere else. I hear there’s a welcome mat for failed businesses at the International Village BIA. Just be sure to bring your own flag. Maybe something in a nice shade of eugenics.

      • Don’t you get uppity with me now, I speak English. I’ll just bet your one of THEM aren’t you? You got something against all of US don’t you. We entrapanhoors got to stick together. We’re starting a new shoppe in the BIA, the “Kupcakes Kan’t Kill Klan” . Just you remember young man, in the buffet of life your friends are dessert.

  2. Now you listen here young man, them’s fightin’ words and I’m a proud Ward16er. Word has it that Farley Hammerton is a Starbucks man so he’s no friend of mine.

  3. Don’t you be flirting with me now, I’ll have you know that I knew Johnny Canuck personally. And, I don’t go for all that homoagnostic hipsterist mystique shenanigans. I’m a cupcake baker, plain and simple.

  4. You people should get a life, it is just an old symbol from a bunch of wackos that died off a long time ago. There are more important things to worry about. You should be thinking and posting about that. I have limited time, and don’t want to waste my comments on trivial matters.

      • I must admit, I shall also be accepting the plagiarism achievement certificate as I stole the line from about 1/3 of the folks from “other posts” who felt the same way I did… I was thinking for the best and save my typing for better things to type about.

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