CANADA GOOSE WINGERY RUFFLES ANCHOR BAR FEATHERS

English: A Canada Goose flying at Burnaby Lake...

The Mighty Canada Goose Flies onto the plates of Hamiltonians soon (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Government Kills Two Birds with One Stone:  Overpopulation & ‘Buffalo Invasion’

The Canada Goose – a symbol of Canadian majesty and valour – will be now served to hungry Hamiltonians, smothered in buffalo sauce, and dunked in blue cheese dip.  The Anchor Bar, Buffalo’s home of the original chicken wing, has opened a location in Hamilton, and council worries about a full-scale Buffalo invasion.

Mayor Bob Bratina, notorious for last minute, left field ideas, proposed a city-run Canada goose wingery.  “It kills two birds with one stone,” says the mayor, “Over population of geese in our parks and golf courses, and a damn good alternative to chicken wings.  We can’t let the Americans take us over – birds of a feather must flock together.

Mayor_on_Wings

Mayor shows council the differences in size between chicken and goose wings – photo by Joanna St.Jacques

The Goose That Lays The Golden Egg

With a supportive council behind him, the giddy mayor told press he was “winging it” when he came up with the idea.   Chefs around the city are vying for the opportunity to make goose wings fly onto our plates.  Jeff Crump, executive chef of the Ancaster Mill says, “A goose wing is fattier and more succulent, I don’t know why we haven’t thought of it already.  Leave it to Bob to turn a lark into a workable idea.”

An Odd Duck, Our Mayor

Soaring on the wings of his success, Mayor Bratina blurted out another idea:  “Let’s scrap the LRT, and install a subway system in Dundas.”   A hush fell over the council chamber, and I could swear I heard a cricket chirp.   Let’s face it, one out of two isn’t bad, Bob.

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19 thoughts on “CANADA GOOSE WINGERY RUFFLES ANCHOR BAR FEATHERS

  1. Are you sure that is what Bratina is describing with his hand gestures? He may be describing something else….I think there is alot of ego in City Council…..

  2. Well then, make sure that you are vaccinated for: ASPERGILLOSIS, AVIAN ADENOVIRUS, CHLAMYDIOSIS, COCCIDIOSIS, CRYPTOSPORIDIOSIS, DERZY’S DISEASE, DUCK VIRUS ENTERITIS, ERYSIPELAS, FLUKES, FOWL CHOLERA, LEUCOCYTOZOONOSIS, LISTERIOSIS, MYCOPLASMA INFECTIONS, MYCOSIS OF THE DIGESTIVE TRACT, MYCOTOXICOSES, NECROTIC ENTERITIS, NEMATODES, NEPHRITIC HEMORRHAGIC ENTERITIS, PARATYPHOID, TRICHOMONIASIS, STREPTOCOCCOSIS and TAPEWORMS… Mind you, I heard tapeworms can be an effective wait lost program!

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