Government Kills Two Birds with One Stone: Overpopulation & ‘Buffalo Invasion’
The Canada Goose – a symbol of Canadian majesty and valour – will be now served to hungry Hamiltonians, smothered in buffalo sauce, and dunked in blue cheese dip. The Anchor Bar, Buffalo’s home of the original chicken wing, has opened a location in Hamilton, and council worries about a full-scale Buffalo invasion.
Mayor Bob Bratina, notorious for last minute, left field ideas, proposed a city-run Canada goose wingery. “It kills two birds with one stone,” says the mayor, “Over population of geese in our parks and golf courses, and a damn good alternative to chicken wings. We can’t let the Americans take us over – birds of a feather must flock together.
The Goose That Lays The Golden Egg
With a supportive council behind him, the giddy mayor told press he was “winging it” when he came up with the idea. Chefs around the city are vying for the opportunity to make goose wings fly onto our plates. Jeff Crump, executive chef of the Ancaster Mill says, “A goose wing is fattier and more succulent, I don’t know why we haven’t thought of it already. Leave it to Bob to turn a lark into a workable idea.”
An Odd Duck, Our Mayor
Soaring on the wings of his success, Mayor Bratina blurted out another idea: “Let’s scrap the LRT, and install a subway system in Dundas.” A hush fell over the council chamber, and I could swear I heard a cricket chirp. Let’s face it, one out of two isn’t bad, Bob.