Horse Saves Queen Victoria From Beheading, Gore Park

Police Horse

Snuffles the Horse Loves Nothing More than a Good Timbit – photo by Ludovic Hirlimann

A Hamilton Policeman and his horse were on the scene for a heinous vandalism in Gore Park at 3:04 am, December 28th.  “I was trotting by on my horse, Snuffles, when I noticed Queen Victoria’s head was almost sawed off, and a little fella was running off at top speed,” says the chief of Hamilton’s equestrian force.  “My partner, Snuffles, and I gave chase, and pretty soon we were right on top of him.  That’s when the perp pulled out some Timbits from his pocket.  Big mistake.  Snuffles fuc*ing loves Timbits!”

Witnesses say it was like something out of an old Western, but with a twist at the end – Snuffles attacked the man and gnawed the Timbits out of his pocket, sparing no flesh.

Harold McAndles, 38, suffered major internal injuries from the horse bites.  The ERT said they’ve never seen anything like this, “and we’ve seen a lot in Gore Park.  A lot.”  McAndles is expected in court early January, maybe this will put an end to his horsing around in the park.

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