Hamilton “Nutcracker Thief” Turns Himself In After Grinch-Like Toy Stealing Spree

Nutcracker Thief

Nutcrack Thief Standing at Attention. Photo by Ell Brown

36 residents of East 33rd street are feeling relief this morning.  Early last morning, a costumed toy thief broke into their houses and took all the presents.   Hamilton Police were surprised when Henry Little, 36, show up at the police office wearing a nutcracker outfit.    “He wasn’t remorseful when he confessed to stealing hundreds of toys from children.  He just said he was bored with the lack of imagination in today’s toy market,” says a bemused Officer Lola Freedman.

Little said to reporters, “Hasbro uses cheap plastic, Mattel isn’t even trying – have you seen the new line of Polly Pockets? C’mon!  They’ve got no souls!  I took the toys home and half of them broke within an hour, and the other half were boring as Hell.”  When asked why he was wearing a nutcracker costume, he said, “I may be a thief, but I can still have Christmas spirit, can’t I?”

Looks like Little will be spending his Christmas in jail.


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