At 7:04am this morning, a shipping boat came within metres of destroying this important Hamilton bridge. The Captain, Bill “Long Johns” Molloy, said, “I’ve gone under this bridge 1000s of times. It’s just plain bullshit. You have no clue about what you’re talking about.” One clever passer-by, however, tells a different story. Jogger, and HammerInTheNews Editor, Farley Hammerton, says, “I’ve never seen a boat come that close in all my years as a jogger. I literally, uh…I was very frightened. I’m also very good with guessing heights from my work as a carny.” No charges for careless piloting have been charged. The Hamilton Port Authority refused to be interviewed.
Photo by Martin Cathrae